When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying stuff.'
Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary.
-
Oscar Wilde
We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all that...
-
C. Joybell C.
I wonder how many people don't get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to be with.
-
Fannie Flagg
That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable.
-
Deb Caletti
The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day.
-
David Foster Wallace
More Quotes By Lewis Black
Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.
Who knew that the devil had a factory where he made millions of fossils, which his minions distributed throughout the earth, in order to confuse my tiny brain?
They're so broke that they've actually cut essential services. In many places, they've cut policemen, because, who the fuck needs them? Or firemen, son of a bitch, it's much more fun watching something burn down.
Just relax and breathe through your ass.
If you really think there's a Santa, why don't you sit on the front steps all night in the freezing cold and see if he climbs down any chimneys tonight. Good luck. And since we're a family that isn't lucky enough to have a chimney,...
